We can’t choose our family. And unfortunately, some of us are stuck with a few a$$holes… like an overly-opinionated aunt, a rude cousin, angry uncle, or manipulative step-mother! You didn’t choose to have them in your life. But they’re part of your family and so avoiding them completely is not always an option.
I love my family, but some of them I don’t really ‘like’. We don’t get along. We are total opposites and most of the time I can’t stand being around them. But you can’t pick your family and sometimes you can’t avoid them either. They’ll be at family functions over the holidays. Rather than miss out on all the people you do enjoy, learning to deal with the difficult ones can be used to your advantage.
Difficult people are a part of life. They’re everywhere. And they seem to pick on the kind-hearted people because we are easier to manipulate! Well not anymore! Here’s how to deal with these types of people so you can enjoy your family again:)
How To Deal With Toxic Family
Be prepared. You know they’re going to be there, so you can prepare mentally. Remind yourself that it’s only a few hours! Psych yourself up with positivity and remember why you’re doing this! For the people you love!
Check your attitude. Don’t go in to it with a bad vibe. Even if they do! Be the bigger, more positive person.
Avoid sensitive topics. What sets them off? Is it the topic of work? Kids? Politics? Avoid these subjects around them if it gets them going!
Accept them. Remember they are, who they are. You can’t change them. Nothing you say or do can change that and trying to do anything other than accept them is a waste of time and frustration. Not everyone has the kind heart you have!
Don’t allow them to control you. Don’t be confrontational but don’t allow them to walk all over you either. Find a balance between standing your ground and keeping the peace. Toxic people often try to manipulate others, especially if you seem like an easy target (for some reason that’s usually me). When they can’t manipulate you, they get angry.
It can be tempting to just give in to keep the peace but in reality you’re not keeping the peace with yourself. And you’re only encouraging their toxic behaviour! Toxic people target the more sensitive and kind-hearted people, because they see them as easy targets as they’re more likely to give in to their manipulation in attempt to keep the peace! By standing up to them, you’re helping to break the cycle! Adults can be the worst bullies of all! Just because they’re adults or family, doesn’t make it okay to be a bully!
Don’t take it personally. When a person lashes out, it’s not usually about you! It’s about them. They usually have their own demons they’re fighting inside. Happy, positive, kind people don’t usually lash out or pick on others right?!
Remember the good. Remember that one good thing they did. Focus on the compliment they gave you, or the time they agreed with you or the cup of coffee they made you. It may be a small thing, but there’s usually a little good in everyone.
Sometimes you have to agree to disagree and just walk away from it.
Give yourself an out. If it gets to be too much to handle, give yourself an out. At least you tried!
Protect your wellbeing. Give yourself some space afterwards. Or if your family is all together too volatile, it might be better to avoid family functions! Whatever you have to do to protect your wellbeing! It’s not being selfish, it’s taking care of yourself!
Also read —> Not Everyone Likes You. How To Get Over It!
The holidays can be tough! I wish you all a happy and overall mentally, physically and emotionally healthy holiday!