7 Signs Your Partner Is A Narcissist
Most of us have had a toxic relationship or two in our lives. And if you’re reading this, you might be in one right now.
Narcissists are dangerous people to be in love with. They trick you into falling in love with them and then once they have you, they lie, belittle you, emotionally abuse you and make you feel like it’s all your fault when the relationship fails. The worst part is, many of us end up trying to fix the relationship, doing whatever we can to make the narcissist happy again. It’s a downward spiral that almost always ends with a broken heart.
This type of codependent relationship, where you desperately need them and they need you to fulfil their needs, can be very damaging to your mental health. You begin to lack self worth, your self esteem plummets and you can end up isolated, alone and even depressed.
The pain of heart break can leave you feeling vulnerable and oftentimes your friends and family just don’t see your side of things. They only see a toxic relationship and you should just get over already. I’ve been there before and even began to hide the problems from my family and friends because they didn’t seem to understand or want to hear it anymore.
Talking to someone who understands can really help. Because sometimes, you really do need better help!
BetterHelp is a safe, online outlet to connect with real licensed, board certified counsellors that can help you cope with the effects of being in a codependent relationship. They work with you to gain the confidence to break free and get your life back!
How Can Therapy Help?
Sometimes you need more than just your best friends advice. A counsellor can help you work out your issues, identify the real problems and figure out a solution. It gives you the confidence you need to make the right choice for you!
You can connect with a a therapist from the comfort of your home, discreetly through online chat, txt, video calls or instant messaging.
So how do you know if you’re dating a narcissist?
What Is A Narcissist?
Narcissists are typically seen as controlling, vain, selfish perfectionists who always have to be right. But, just because your partner likes to take selfies and is self confident or competitive doesn’t make them a narcissist.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is an actual medical condition that can have devastating effects on those around them. We hear the term narcissist a lot these days, but do you know what that really means?
NPD is much more than a big ego and selfies. It’s an inflated and unrealistic sense of self importance, a lack of empathy for others and an excessive need for attention and admiration. These traits make it nearly impossible to be in a loving, healthy relationship.
I think the worst trait of all is the lack of empathy because they really don’t care how much they hurt you. If you’re an empath, like me, this is a very dangerous combination.
Why You Fall Hard For A Narcissist
In the beginning, otherwise known as the honeymoon phase, the evil villain… I mean narcissist, will put on the act- making you feel like you have met the perfect partner.
But soon, little red flags begin to pop up- unrealistic demands, outbursts of anger when things don’t go their way, and jabs at your self esteem. Usually, we ignore them at first and hope it’s just a bad day or a bad mood that’ll pass.
Before long, you’re being isolated from your friends and have no one to turn to for help or advice… at least no one that would understand.
You start to wonder if you really are the issue in the relationship. Like if you just kept things neater or started working out or made him happier, things would be better… like they were in the beginning. But when you’re dating a narcissist, things will never get better. And even after the relationship finally ends, it can take time to heal from the emotional damage.
Life is no fairy tale. Without the creepy smiles, evil music and black clothes, the evil villain can easily be mistaken for your Prince Charming.
Narcissists are great actors, playing the role of the caring, supportive partner in the honeymoon phase. You’re blinded and then left thinking it’s something you did, when things go wrong.
But the truth is, you can never make a narcissist truly happy for long. They are in a sense- impossible people, to live with, deal with and love!
It’s common to encounter people who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. Discover the key signs that reveal this disorder.
How To Spot A Narcissist Quickly
Narcissistic men and women are very self-centered and self-indulgent that they tend to see friends and lovers as mere extensions of themselves. They are obsessed with flattery and demand to be adored and have attention on them at all times.
Unfortunately, these narcissistic types are usually very seductive, making you like them without even realizing what you’re getting yourself into. Because their egos are so very fragile, they constantly crave attention which eventually puts their partner at risk of being on the loosing end of the relationship or friendship. Narcissistic people are toxic, whether they are your friends or romantic partner.
Want to identify a narcissistic quickly. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
1. Does he or she loose interest when they are not the center of attention?
2. Are most conversations about them, whether you try to change the subject or not?
3. Is your partner always fishing for compliments?
4. If you criticize him or her, do they literally fall apart at that criticism, especially if it refers to their looks or their mistakes?
5. Do you catch them talking about all of their supposed ‘lost loves or ex-friends’ which each seemed to have had major flaws in which he or she had to break it off with them?
6. If he or she is not getting special treatment or constant attention do they get mad or have a temper tantrums? For example if when they are not waited on fast enough in restaurants, or did not get the best seats at the movies, are they upset?
7. Do you find a pattern of this person using people just to get what they want and then discarding them when their own needs are met?
If the man or women you are interested in shows any number of these types of behaviors then you may want to be careful. These are not the type of people to get involved in a relationship with if you want equal attention and love.
Below is a more in-depth look at what narcissism is.
7 Signs You’re Partner Is A Narcissist
Consider this information about exhibitionist narcissists and see if anyone in your life fits the description:
- What is a narcissist? It’s a person who has a grandiose view of themselves, and an inflated ego.
- A narcissist is similar to other types of narcissists. They usually grow up with low self-esteem and may lack a nurturing environment at home. They often compensate for this by having an inflated sense of self.
- Narcissists also have a sense of entitlement.
- Center of attention. Narcissists always have to be the center of attention. They want the whole world to revolve around them. And when it doesn’t, they get upset and angry.
- They love attention and seek it out. They want everyone to love and praise them. They’re not comfortable sharing the spotlight with friends or other family members. They easily become jealous if they’re not the center of attention.
- Lack of empathy. Narcissists don’t understand what other people are feeling. They can’t relate to them and often ignore them.
- Although narcissists are capable of feeling hurt, they don’t realize it when they hurt others. They’re only able to see their own feelings and don’t care about how others feel.
- Narcissists also tend to be selfish. They expect the world to bend to their needs and desires. They want everything immediately and lack patience. They don’t care that their wishes inconvenience others.
- Expecting perfection. Most narcissists expect perfection from those around them. They have unrealistic expectations and extremely high standards.
- They also believe that they’re perfect, and it’s impossible to convince a narcissist that they’ve made a mistake. They push their expectations on others and refuse to live in the real world.
- Projecting perfection is also important for the narcissist. They will go to great lengths to convince others they’re perfect. They’ll spend hours editing photos, cleaning their homes, or buying new things. They’ll lie if it’s necessary to convince someone they’re perfect.
- Often, narcissists will post idealized images and stories about their lives online.
- Using others. Since Narcissists don’t care about other people, it’s easy for them to use others. In some cases, they’ll use family members as props.
- They often tend to think of people as things. They believe they’re easy to replace and exchange.
- Narcissists can make family or friends feel like they’re accessories. Since the narcissists have to be the center of attention at all times, they’ll push people aside to get what they want.
- Narcissist have a hard time returning affection because they don’t view others as their equals.
- No apologies or responsibility. Exhibitionist narcissists are not able to apologize even if they realize they’ve done something wrong. They don’t take responsibility for their actions.
- They refuse to acknowledge that they’re wrong. You can wait forever to hear an apology from them, and you won’t get one.
- Admitting a mistake would be a devastating blow to their egos.
- It’s easier for them to pretend nothing is wrong. It’s easier to ignore issues forever and let others suffer because, once again, they don’t care.
Once you learn the signs, it’s easier to spot a narcissist. You can learn how to see these signs and use the information to avoid narcissists, especially in relationships! But if you think you might already be in a relationship with one, there is help!