Plus Tips To Handle Relationship Conflict in a Healthy Way
Have you ever fallen in love with the wrong person or fallen for someone at the wrong time? If so, you’re not alone! Relationships can fall apart for many reasons, and compatibility and timing are just two of these factors. Our article introduces some tips on handling conflict in relationships.
With dating sites more popular than ever, it’s safe to say that we are a society obsessed with romantic love. But what happens when we believe in looking for love at all costs?
While rom coms and TV persuade us to get out and search for “the one,” it’s never really explained what a relationship with “the one” should look like. Whether you’re coupled up or searching for your soulmate on Dating Rating recommended sites, there are certain people and behaviors that you should never settle for.
Check out our relationship tips on how to avoid falling for the wrong person and on handling conflict in relationships once you’ve met your match!
How to Stop Falling in Love with the Wrong Person
Sometimes you can feel you’re onto a winner, and it can be devastating and shocking when things still don’t work out. Psychologists have long agreed that, when it comes to dating, subtle unconscious behaviors can often lead us astray. We may think we’ve found Mr. Perfect, only to realize later that we couldn’t be more wrong. Falling in love with the wrong person is painful, and it’s natural to look for ways to avoid it. Here are some things that experts recommend.
Don’t Go for Unavailable People
It may sound obvious, but, often, falling in love with the wrong people has more to do with us than it has to do with them. Sometimes we fall for the wrong person because they fool us in some way. Maybe they pretend to be something they’re not or consciously hide their worst qualities until we’re in too deep. However, often, people who have a long track record of falling for unsuitable partners also harbor self-destructive tendencies.
If this feels familiar, take some time to look at your relationship with yourself. Are you deeply critical of yourself? People who feel self-hatred often destroy their own chances of a relationship, even if they want one desperately. Consider working on the relationship with yourself before you try dating or handling conflict in relationships with others.
Be Faithful to Yourself
Sometimes, we get so carried away with how things should look that we forget to check if we are, actually, satisfied. With so much pressure to look perfect and successful on social media, it’s easy to see relationships as a key part of your ideal self-image. However, falling in love with the wrong person can cost you everything if you let a relationship erode your sense of self. Again, getting to know yourself (and what you want) in a meaningful way before you enter a relationship is the best way to discover if someone is right for you.
Don’t Look for Fixer-Uppers
When it comes to dating, try to choose partners based on their actions and not on their words. If you meet someone who constantly wants to borrow money from you, don’t accept their promises to change, only accept evidence of that change. This ties in with knowing your own worth as people who value themselves do not want to spend their valuable time on fixer-uppers. If someone is genuinely trying to change, that’s fine, but if your relationship is full of broken promises, these are classic signs of falling in love with the wrong person.
Embrace Being Alone
People often struggle with handling conflict in relationships when they fear being alone. Society often teaches us that single people are lonely or tragic, but, really, it’s infinitely better to be content alone than unhappy with the wrong person. When we’re terrified of being alone, this makes it hard for us to make good judgments when it comes to dating. It also makes conflicts in relationships hard to handle because we could interpret any small fight as a sign the other person will leave. Exercises like meditation and yoga can give you a grounded sense of peace, spending time alone, as can exploring new activities or making new friends.
Work on Handling Conflict in Relationships
What does the “wrong person” mean when we talk about relationships? Sometimes it’s not so much a case of the wrong person, as a case of two compatible people who handle conflict poorly. Learning to cope with our emotions in a mature way can sometimes transform a bad relationship into a good one.
Sometimes we have to let go of how we think things should look in order to get better. Instead of giving in to your fear of falling in love with the wrong person, try and appreciate and make the best of what you have. Wrong or right, a person may simply be a question of emotional work and conscious communication to improve your relationship.
Learn to Deal with Loss
Sometimes even highly compatible people can struggle to make a relationship work. Whether through circumstances or timing, sometimes you can’t help falling in love with the wrong person at the wrong time. Situations like this can be extremely painful and, no matter, what we’ve grown to believe, sometimes cannot conquer overwhelming obstacles.
In the 90s sitcom Ally McBeal (a show about a lovelorn lawyer), Ally complains to her therapist that her perfect relationship ended because of bad timing. Her therapist replies, “So it didn’t last forever. Who’s to say the best relationships do?” Happily ever after is a work of fiction, and, sometimes, we have to deal with loss. Try and accept good times you do have with people, rather than trying to make everything fit into the category of everlasting love.
Falling in love with the wrong person is something that most people experience from time to time. Whether through bad timing or emotional instability, it’s natural to look back on some relationships and wonder, what if. Try not to obsess over these feelings and accept that loss is a part of life. These romantic disappointments may just pave the way for something really special in the future!
Have you ever experienced falling in love with the wrong person? How did you recover from the experience? Did things work out? Let us know in the comments!
Rachael Sullivan is a family lawyer for many years with a sole practice in family law. She met her husband on Dating Ranking and now she enjoys sharing healthy tips for relationships so that it can be as easy and happy as possible because words are powerful and can change everything.