How To Say ‘I’m Sorry’!
I’m Canadian and over here we apologize all the time. I mean, I’ve even apologized for apologizing… more than once (not sorry)! But, sometimes it’s more of a habit than an honest apology. We’ve all done things we are sorry for. How you apologize can set the tone of the rest of your friendship or relationship. How you say it can make or break things. Making a sincere and honest apology is key in moving forward and forgiving. Here are some tips to help you apologize sincerely and ask for forgiveness!
How To Apologize Sincerely
Apologizing sincerely isn’t an easy thing to do. If you’ve never been taught how to apologize properly, it makes it even harder. And if you have a big ego, saying you’re sorry can be nearly impossible and come out insincere because you don’t really mean it. Sometimes simply saying, ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t exactly express your regret.
When you’ve done something you shouldn’t or that you feel bad about, here are the top 5 ways to apologize:
Say what you are sorry for. ‘I’m sorry for…’ Be specific in expressing yourself. What are you sorry for? This isn’t merely a way to say you’re sorry that you got caught, but rather that you’re sorry you hurt another person.
• Perhaps your intent wasn’t even to hurt someone, but it happened anyway, and expressing your regret can ease the hurt.
Say why it was wrong. ‘It was wrong because…’ Explaining why it was wrong and why it happened helps the other person understand the situation. It can help provide clarity to the situation and answer some questions they may have.
Express regret. It’s one thing to just say you’re sorry, but showing that you regret the whole situation will help make forgiveness easier.
Accept responsibility for what you did wrong. It’s important to accept responsibility for what you’ve done. If you can’t take responsibility, it will be hard for people to forgive you.
• Don’t try to shove the blame off on someone else; admit that you’re the guilty party and tell the person what you did was wrong.
Try to right your wrong. Make amends by asking: What can I do to fix this? After you’ve expressed regret and accepted responsibility, it’s important that you do what you can to make amends.
• If you want to re-establish trust with the person you’ve hurt, making restitution is vital.
Commit to not doing it again. Express a genuine apology by promising: I’ll do my best to never do this again. You may regret having done what you did, and that’s good. However, it’s crucial that you don’t repeat the offense again in the future.
Ask for forgiveness by asking: Will you please forgive me? Be sure to ask the person you’ve offended to forgive you.
• Neither of you will be able to let this go, put it in the past, and move forward if there isn’t true forgiveness on the one part and true regret on the other.
Express gratitude. If your apology is accepted and a relationship is mended, say thank you for their understanding.
If you follow these steps, does that mean the person you’ve hurt will always forgive you? There’s no guarantee, and depending on what caused the pain, it may take them a little while to get to the point of forgiveness.
However, your chances of forgiveness when you apologize sincerely you are much greater than if you offer up a careless apology.
Part of the reason your apology may not be accepted is because of the way it’s given. If you tell them, I didn’t mean to hurt you, but… it’s a pretty good bet they’re thinking the apology may not have been heart-felt. There’s no wonder they may not be so quick to forgive you.
When your apology isn’t sincere, there may be forgiveness, but that doesn’t mean the relationship has been restored the way you hoped it would be.
What if you don’t feel like what you’ve done even really requires an apology? Why should you offer one if what you did wasn’t wrong? Well, if a person perceives it as being wrong, you may still want to offer a sincere apology for how they’re feeling. It all depends on how much you value the relationship at stake.
Apologizing will help you reconnect with someone who’s important to you and strengthen the trust between you, which is always a good thing for your relationship.
Learning these top ways to apologize will give you an important skill you can use to improve your relationships. Use them sincerely and you’ll both feel better!