A new relationship is supposed to be an exciting time. You want to spend all of your free time together, and when you’re not together you’re day dreaming of your future and texting him, when you should be working. But if you lose yourself in a relationship, you’ll end up feeling lost and it could even result in a codependent relationship.
It’s natural to want to spend your free time together and dream about your future, but before you know it you lose track of your own identity, goals and even friends and family.
Learn how to stay grounded in reality when you feel like you’re falling in love. Try these tips for staying true to yourself as you welcome a new partner into your life.
Steps to Take For Yourself In A New Relationship:
Love yourself. Self confidence is key here! You’re less likely to lose yourself in a relationship if you already value who you are. Increase your self-awareness and self-esteem by living mindfully and making choices that align with your core values.
Continue socializing. Keep spending time with family and friends. Visit your parents and continue to make coffee dates with your friends. Encourage your new love interest to do the same. Your relationship will be stronger if you avoid spending every free moment together and if you continue to live your own life.
Pursue your interests. You can love each other even if you like different kinds of music or foods. Make sure you continue to pursue your own hobbies and passions. Go kayaking, do yoga and take care of your self!
Check out 11 great hobbies for women.
Concentrate at work or school. Your work/school life might suffer if you spend too much time texting or fantasizing about your future children. Plan your day and get your job done. If you’re having a really hard time focusing at work or school because you can’t stop thinking about your new boyfriend, you risk losing your job or failing a class.
You will feel so much better about yourself, if you continue to make yourself a priority!
Set individual goals. Ensure that your life has a purpose bigger than any single relationship. Think about your spiritual development and the legacy you want to create.
Maintain boundaries. Honor your own needs. Explain how you want to be treated and let others know the consequences for exceeding your limits.
Learn more about healthy relationship Boundaries to set.
Spend time alone. You’ll probably make better decisions about relationships if you can enjoy your own company. Stay home one evening a week. Enjoy some solo activities each weekend. Give yourself a few spa treatments or read a long novel.
Consider counseling. Childhood experiences and other factors may interfere with your ability to find the love you deserve. If you need more help, talk with a therapist who specializes in relationships.
Now here are some things to do together, as a couple, to build a strong and healthy relationship.
Steps to Take with Your Significant Other:
Slow down. Resist the urge to spend every moment together after a promising first date. Get to know each other gradually. Put off making any major decisions until your relationship is on firmer ground.
Listen closely. Your date may be wonderful, but they have weaknesses and quirks just like the rest of us. Don’t ignore his flaws because you’re too wrapped up in the new relationship. Pay attention to the evidence. Discuss important issues like how you feel about parenting and managing money.
Expect conflict. New couples sometimes avoid certain subjects to avoid conflict. In reality, your relationship is more likely to thrive if you learn to work out your differences with kindness and respect.
Coordinate communications. How many phone calls a day are you comfortable with? Negotiate a schedule that makes you both feel connected without becoming overwhelmed.
Seek balance. Relationships are rarely completely equal. One partner may love the other more or have more influence. However, you can strive for reciprocity and mutual support. Divide chores and other responsibilities. Pool your strengths and appreciate the contributions that you both make to your life together.
Holding on to your individuality creates a stronger foundation for love and intimacy. You can be yourself while being part of a couple. Your life will be fuller, and your relationships will be healthier and stronger.