why i kept my blog a secret
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Why I Kept My Blog A Secret

I Didn’t Share My Blog With Family Or Friends

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You’re probably going to think I’m totally weird and maybe even kinda crazy, but my friends and family have no clue I blog! I started blogging about 6 months ago, and I’ve been keeping it a secret from my family and friends ever since!

I didn’t really intend to keep my blog a secret, at least not for this long. When I started this blog, the learning curve was (and still kinda is) so steep that I wanted to get it up and running smoothly before I revealed it to anyone I knew. But, I became so comfortable being able to share whatever I wanted without fear. It’s much easier to share with total strangers from around the world than it is to share some personal stories with my closest friends and family. That, and the fact that I didn’t think they would understand. There’s a misconception about blogging… that it’s just a hobby or that we do it to be cool! Or that you’re just doing it because you want to be famous and then when you don’t become famous you look like a big failure… But this isn’t the case for me!

“I was worried there would be eye rolls and secret wishes I would fail.”

I knew that if I told a few people, it would slowly get out. Some people won’t take me seriously and I didn’t want any bad juju.

Why I Started To Blog

I started this blog for a school project, and quickly realized how much I missed writing. Ideas started flowing and whispers (okay more like screams from spammy Pinterest links) of how to make money blogging filled my head. So I got to work. But before I shared with anyone I knew, I wanted my blog to come across as well-established. I didn’t want the added pressure of failing in front of everyone I knew. If I was gonna ‘fail’ I would rather do it in private. I had no idea where this blog was going, or what it was going to be. So I blogged in private-ish, sharing it only with strangers… some of which I even consider friends now thanks to The Secret Tribe and Bloggers Traffic Community!

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Why I Kept My Blog Secret From My Family And Friends

Fear! Fear that they would judge me. That they would think I was silly for starting a blog as a career path, or worse… that I would fail in front of everyone! I thought most people wouldn’t understand what I was trying to do with this blog. I was afraid of the eye rolls and secret wishes for failure. So, I decided to keep it to seperate from them, until I reached my goals so I don’t have the added pressure to get there! I’m sure this doesn’t make sense to a lot of people, because family and friends are there to support you… but for someone with anxiety, it’s not always looked at like that. As irrational as it may sound, I hope some of you feel the same way!

I also wanted to connect with my target audience. My family and friends are just small part of my potential target audience. I had to make sure there was more out there!

Plus I And not a ‘oh look at me’ type of person. Despite being a news reporter and now blogger, I am a really private person. I just love media and writing!

How I Kept My Blog A Secret From My Family And Friends

This part was surprisingly easy. I’m in school for social media marketing, so I’m on my computer a lot anyway. And, I’ve used this blog as a few school assignments so that also made it easy. I have a twitter account for Stephsocial.com, but I make sure no family or friends or even friends of friends are on there! I have a pretty good reach on Pinterest currently, but keep in underwraps from anyone I know. I even went as far as blocking a few people from Pinterest for now, just until I’m ready to reveal.

How Do I Tell My Family And Friends About My Blog?

I plan to do a little reveal around my one year blogiversary. I want to create a Facebook page for Stephsocial.com. But for now, I’m still growing as a blogger. I feel so much more confident in my blogging abilities now than I did 6 months ago, obviously. I don’t think they’ll be shocked because I was a writer for nearly 10 years. In fact, many people have even said why don’t you start a blog Steph? So why am I so afraid? I mean part of me sees a lot of support, but there’s still that little (big) part of me that fears judgement and failure. Writing for established publications was different. I didn’t have to explain myself or my job. I think there’s a misconception around blogging, that it’s just a hobby or I just sit around and write about beauty or fashion… which is fine btw but there are so many other bloggers out there! Like me:)

I have no regrets about keeping my blog a secret, and I’m actually really glad I did. I look back at when I first started, and I have come so far but I’m not quite where I need to be yet. I think I would have struggled a lot more in the beginning if I had the additional pressure of everyone I know watching. So for now, it’s just me and you! And, it’s our little secret:)

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Steph Social

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65 Comments

  1. I don’t think that your decision to keep it from everyone was out of fear, I think it was 10000% wisdom (even if you didn’t know how truly wise you were at the time!)

    I wish I had done this myself.

    I shared it early on… and now they all read my content and drop their opinions on my plate like their opinion is something I should consume before writing anything again….. so disheartening.

    I tried finding the IP address of some of my biggest critics and blocking them, but it’s just too late. I let the cat out of the bag and I wish I had held back.

    I think you’re so darn strong for doing this. I really applaud it… and like everything else you do… it inspires me.

    Keep rocking it, babe! Can’t wait for that bloggiversary!

    1. Thank you 🙏 I’m so sorry you’re dealing with nasty negativity! But your posts help and inspire so many ppl!
      The bloggiversary is gonna be epic!! There may be booze involved lmao feel free to join me:)

    2. Hi! You know, I think it was necessary to keep it secret, I’m exploring many activities and I feel the same, feel confident doing them secretely, just my daughter wachtes me. Honestly I admire you, I don’t have a great awesome career as yours, but I’m planning secretely to start a blog too. Congratulations!!! You are inspiring😍

      1. Thank you:) It is a lot of work, and I’m not where I want to be quite yet but getting there! I plan to reveal in the next few months so I’m really trying to get my sh#t together lol!
        Thanks for reading! Feel free to reach out if you need any help or blog tips!

  2. Lori Roach says:

    Hi Steph!
    When I started my blog 8 months ago, I only told a few friends and family. A few more found out organically, but the vast majority have no idea to this day! And I like it that way, for all of the reasons you stated here – that I wasn’t very good at first and that blogging isn’t real work, and more. As my blog grows, so does my confidence level, and sooner or later, I’ll make a big reveal…or people will just figure it out. I’ve made no effort to keep it hidden, just didn’t advertise it. Good article!

    Lori

    1. Hey Lori! Thanks for stopping by:) I feel like I’m more comfortable expressing myself to complete strangers I guess! Especially in the beginning! I dunno why?! I didn’t used to be like this! I’m gonna break out of my shell soon tho!

  3. I didn’t necessarily keep my blog a secret, but for a long time I didn’t ever bring it up either. I had a coworker once ask why anyone would pay me to blog and it made me feel kind of awful. But now? I talk about it because it’s part of me. And that’s okay.

  4. I so get this. My friends and family dont get what I do but thats ok with me.

  5. Dannii says:

    I don’t think a lot of people understand blogging, so I totally get why you would keep it secret. My family don’t even read it haha.

    1. That’s how I feel!! I don’t think they’ll understand what I do!

    2. Great post and totally understandable.

  6. I did a similar thing with my blog. I did a “soft realease” on by birthday to close friends ( how could they criticize my work on my bday?!) It’s totally normal. When we are learning a new thing it’s common not to be confident about it. But it will come with time for sure.

    1. A soft release! Like it!

  7. I get it! I used to keep my blog a secret from family and friends too. Then I decided I might as well be honest about it. Now my mom reads! Sometimes she’s shocked, but eh, it’s my life.

  8. Echo Aspnes says:

    I don’t think you are wrong for keeping it a secret. I think it totally gave you the strength and inspiration to be yourself.

  9. interesting post… I won’t say I hid mine from family, but rather, I haven’t informed them

    1. Really? It’s so interesting to me to see how many people keep it from their family! Maybe not to my extreme as hiding it, but not actively seeking their support! Good to know!

  10. I guess many other people do too

  11. Hannah Marie says:

    Nothing wrong in keeping it a secret! Just enjoy what you are doing, reveal it when you are ready.

  12. I have been blogging for 4 years and am pretty successful at it and I have not told most of my friends and family. Its just not something I think everyone is interested in knowing. My close people support me. but I dont blog for attention or praise just because eI love to write so their approval or disapproval isn’t important to me on this because it is a passion of mien and mine alone.

    1. That is a great way to think of it!

  13. KiSheyna Durham says:

    I used to be like this in college. Now I make a living off it of amazing but I was just like you!

  14. Honestly.. you’re not alone. No one in my family knows that I blog except my brother. I see where you’re coming from, its not the fear but its the negative judgement and the stigma that people get as soon as they hear the word “blogger”, because for them, its just something that people do to sound ‘cool’!! And that basically they do nothing!!! Which is quite frustrating.. but yeah, some of my friends who are very supportive know that I blog. But not all!! (Hâte the negative ones) Thanks for sharing girl!! Gives me some motivation too!!

  15. I’m with you on this…many of my friends and family don’t know I blog besides for my husband obviously and a few close friends… other than that no one else knows and I prefer it that way since my blog is mainly a life blog and I share a lot of personal things and thoughts on there! Keep doing what you’re doing girl!

  16. SAME. I just started blogging (it’s been less than 2 months) and only my husband knows. I thought maybe I was the only one secretly blogging, haha. Like you, I’d love to make something of it before I let friends and family know (although, sometimes I think maybe I’ll just always keep it under the radar.) Good luck to you!

    1. I knew there had to be others!! I am planning on telling them soon:) maybe in a few months! My one year blogiversary 🎈

  17. Same here! I don’t have a blog but I have a shopify store and I’ve had it since March of this year but still haven’t shared much with my family or friends because I haven’t seen the success I want yet. The anxiety is such a killer but I’m working on it. I plan to become self employed from my store in the next year so I’m definitely leaving some (or a little) of this anxiety in 2019 lol Good Luck!

  18. This is SO me!! Only my husband knows. My mom is my bff and I haven’t even told her! I love that I’m learning something new and using my creative side. I’m only a month in (and as hard as I’m working on my blog, I am not getting much traffic) but I’m so determined to prove to MYSELF I can do this, and don’t want anyone doubting or questioning my ability to do it! Thank you for posting this <3

    1. You can DO IT!!!

  19. Joy Walker says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this story and to all who replied. My bl is still in prenatal stage (not launched) but have not shared my journey with anyone except my husband. He doesn’t get the “blog thing” but is still supportive. I can’t seem to find the words to tell him what it is but I can write about it. And I have some things to share that I believe people will relate to. Blessings to all of you who blazed a path for the rest of us. Blog on…

    1. Thank you for reaching out Joy!! I appreciate your comment! It’s a scary thing- starting a blog and allowing yourself to be so vulnerable! I didn’t tell my husband until I was several months in, but he is my biggest supporter and totally understands why I need to keep it a secret for now! He’s just so proud he can’t wait until we can share lol!
      I plan to do a reveal in the new year!
      What is your blog going to be about? Personal? Bit of both? If you need any tips, send me an email and I would be happy to share:) it’s a HUGE learning curve! My email is Stephanie.sisler@hotmail.com 🙂

  20. I used to blog few years back and really kept it a secret for same reason as you. I was not ready to tell them. Eventually you ll get over it when you are ready 🙂

  21. Finally, I find someone who feels like me! I’ve restarted blogging and I’m feeling quite reticent about sharing my blog posts on my Facebook. I mean, I already have my blog listed on my FB profile, but actively promoting it is a total different thing. And all these blogging gurus who say “share, share, share”. I thought that it must be something wrong about me, having paranoia or something.

    By the way, I saw that other commenter said that they got flooded with unwanted comments from their friends after they have promoted the blog. Well, that wasn’t my case. Like I said, my blog is on FB for years. nobody bothered me. People are just too busy struggling with their life. They don’t come to read my blog, much less to comment on it (especially when I’m talking technical stuff).

    In several rare cases, they have visited the blog and then congratulated me in private via a chat conversation. But those cases are rare. I also have friends who do know about my blog but they just don’t visit it. And that’s fine with me. Because I feel that I can breath freely. It’s a paradox feeling, in a way…

    One other factor might be the fact that I write in English… not a mother tongue for many of my friends…

    1. I knew I couldn’t be the only one!
      I’m glad you can understand, that your family and friends are always your target market! Though their support is appreciated 🙂

  22. I can totally understand wanting to hide your blog from friends and family. I’m currently in the preparation phase of starting a blog and I felt exactly the same, my boyfriend is the only one that knows.

    I just want to try my hardest to make this work and I don’t want to have friends/family constantly asking me “so how’s the blogging thing going?” – I mean, what if I fail? How to explain without getting their judgement?

    I’m not sure I ever plan on telling them. Like you said, sharing just with strangers can be so much easier!

    1. Good luck with your blog!! And tbh as I get closer to when I wanted to tell my family and friends, I’m feeling SO anxious ugh! Keep question- is it where it should be? Is that one article a little too personal?
      I kept defining what I thought meant success in blogging and trying to achieve that before I felt ‘good enough’ to tell everyone- hitting 50k views, hitting 10k views a month, monetizing, getting 1k subscribers or followers etc! But I guess it isn’t a number at all and maybe I’ll always be Striving to do better!
      All i Know is, I am so glad looking back that I did keep it a secret because in then beginning it was a mess! There is a learning curve and she’s steep!!
      Good luck Bonita!! Thank you for taking the time to comment and let me know I’m NOT the only one!!

  23. I did the same thing! But trust me when I say this… when you start making money and your blog can provide you more money then anything before (which is where I am right now) everyone and their dog comes to you and seeks your advice lol.

    It’s the talk with my close friends and family now. But only close friends still!

    Glad you wrote this, all bloggers should keep it hush hush till all the kinks are worked out before revealing I think. 🙂

  24. […] recently wrote about why I kept my blog a secret from my friends and family, and I have been blown away by the response. I had no clue that so many […]

  25. Love this post! I started my blog two months ago and my family and friends have no idea. I even hid it from my husband for a few months while I worked on it because I didn’t want any negativity although he’s super supportive I just wanted to handle it on my own! He is the only one who knows now 🙂 great blog post!!

  26. You’re right Steph and it should be this way only when you’re starting out your first blog. But overtime, if you have freelanced or worked digitally and helped a few blogs succeed. Then you know the blueprint and can just take the leap of faith and do your best.

    For example, I’ve just published my first post Writing a Professional Blog Post that Converts and have a few other pages including one am very proud of, that is How to Start a Blog in 10 Steps

    And right after publishing, am on the lookout to make connections, network with great people. Found your post and it’s great to start interacting with like-minded people.

    Great work there Steph!

    1. Thank you! Great posts by the way! There’s so much to learn when you start blogging it can be an overwhelming experience!

  27. If I were you I would use some catchy nickname (in order to hide my actual identity) at least for the beginning.

    Hiding in the digital era is not a good choice, as far as we care about good exposure (aka SEO).

    Nice point of view, though.

    You will be one of the inspirational blog for my new beginning.

  28. I can totally relate. Although I am fair new to blogging, it’s been about a month. However, I tried blogging in the past 2 other times but I allowed fear and what other people think get in the way. Now, I’m in a different space and mindset to make my blogging goals happen. Just like you’ve mentioned, I have not revealed my blogging journey to my family, maybe a couple of friends though. I created separate pages that can be linked to my blog site so that way it won’t interfere with my personal accounts. I feel more comfortable keeping it under wraps mainly because I am still new, but also cause I know the pessimistic energy that’s given to me from family when I share things that I have going on. As long as I’m happy with what I’m doing, that’s what matters the most. I just want to continue to focus on building my site and growing my audience.

  29. Thank you so so much for this post!! Everything that you have written resonates so much with me, and it’s so nice to know that I’m not the only one out there thats felt like this. Thank you, this has made me feel so much better.

  30. Jackie says:

    This was so inspiring and as I sit here in my small towns library on a Tuesday morning, my family and friends believe I’m working from home. (which I do often) I truly believe if you want something you should dream, work and move in silence. As superstitious as this is, the job interviews I’ve done with out sharing have always worked out in the end. As for the ones were I’ve shared with anyone before hearing the news never seemed to workout. Thank you for sharing your story and makes me feel so much more confident keeping my blog journey a secret.

    1. Success in silence!! I am superstitious about it too!!

  31. I wish i read this post before i share my blog to my family.. 😉 i trully regret… SOrry for my english I am not a english speaker.

  32. Fee says:

    I totally understand your feelings! Normally I was always really open about my plans and ideas to my family. But I never felt really supported. When I started my blogs one year ago, I told nobody. I am really happy about that because I was very naive and I am still learning how to create my blog! I am really passionated about it but telling my family about it would destroy this safe place and my dreams. I had fear that my followers would not respect how I handle it and felt this kind of pressure to come out.
    Your Post really helped me to understand that it is okay – thanks❤️

  33. A lot of people don’t understand blogging and telling them and seeing their weird reactions sometimes brings negativity. So, I guess there are many bloggers out there who hid it from their friends and family. So inspired by your post.

  34. Danielle King says:

    Omg, thank you SO much for this article! This is a message from the Universe. I LITERALLY was just thinking of starting over from scratch with my entire brand with blogging and Instagram (ESPECIALLY Instagram!).I’ve noticed that the reason as to why I dont post as frequently is bc in afraid of being judged by friends and family. Also bc my friends are also just a small part of my target audience. So I was thinking of starting over from scratch OR just going through my entire friends list (I have about 1,800 followers) and just blocking certain people from viewing my posts and stories. What do you think I should do? I’m gonna try just blocking first and see how that goe .

    1. I knew I wasn’t the only one!
      Do it! Start your new blog, block who you wanna block or even better create a whole new insta without any friends on there but just be careful not to allow your phone to have access to your contacts or it’ll send you profile to your contacts!
      What’s so crazy, is how comfortable blogging in Secret From Your Friends And Family really is! I get about 50,000 monthly viewers from around the world and make $$ blogging but my mom or best friends don’t even know!
      My original goal was to grow to a point where I am now, and then I feel like I’ve ‘made it’ as a successful blogger. But i still don’t want to tell them. Once it’s out, it’s out and it’s a whole different ball game! Big move! I keep saying maybe next month lol!
      Anyway, good luck! Imagine writing whatever you want to write and posting whatever without worrying about what so-and-so will think or say? You will thrive and grow! Trust me:)

  35. Well wrote, many thanks your for the aticle.

    1. Thank you!

  36. Hi Steph! 👋🏻 You know, I totally understand and agree with you! The only people that know that I started my blog are my husband and children. I haven’t spoken a word about it to any extended family or friends. I think it’s mostly b/c of fears of failure, judgement anxiety, and I really don’t want anyone to know until I’m already successful. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I think that’s ok though. It’s my blog and I can choose to tell or not tell if I want lol.

    1. It opens it up to more ridicule and it all becomes so very ‘real’ as soon as everyone knows!!
      You blog, your way! I’ll have to check yours out:)

    2. Durden says:

      Beautiful post.. felt like listening to my own story.. found it while scrolling through Pinterest..

  37. Hey! Very interesting post and I can so much relate… Thank you for sharing your thoughts and process!

  38. Carmen Applegate says:

    This was honestly so relatable. I love how open you were about everything. I recently started blogging and haven’t told many people about my blog. Those that I have weren’t that interested so that was good (since I’m still learning and not the most confident). I wish I hadn’t told anyone though because it would be fun to have my own little secret and then a year later… BOOM. Hey guys, guess what? I have a blog! But that just wasn’t the case for me. Again, I appreciate your honest and raw post. Thanks! 🙂

  39. Madeline says:

    It’s like you just took the thoughts right out of my head! 😅 I’m in the process of starting a blog and if people I know personally knew about it, I feel like I would self-sabotage and wouldn’t even start! This post is so relatable and I enjoyed reading it! Thank you!

    1. Awesome!! If you need any tips feel free to reach out Steph@stephsocial.com 💕

  40. Hey Steph!! Congrats on your success with blogging and in secret too! I am starting a blog and I’m not wanting to share with friends or family just yet either… my question to you is I have seen that posting pictures of yourself helps connect with readers and I’m wondering how you got around that. Were you just not concerned that your friends and family would ever find your blog so you had pictures done anyways or did you not post a picture of yourself in the beginning?? Any info helps! Thanks!

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